I have left the shore…wondered into the deep,
Deep chasms of the ocean…
The previous shore, the previous life is like a dream now,
A void, hazy with fading memory, with every passing moment…
But the shadow is something that is following me,
The deep dark shadows of the past that never leave…..
The new shore that I see, seems so inviting, beautiful,
But whenever I go near, whenever I try to reach out,
The shadows swarm up like waves crashing on a shore,
Like a storm raging…reminding me, reminding me every time,
Of the deep dark past, of how that was luring too,
How the past too was waiting for my return, how it was not past yet…..
I try to ignore and go on in my own way on my own,
Alone, away from all who can give me company,
Company and comfort, for it is not what I seek,
It’s what I am running from,
I want to be lonely, alone…
Alone in this huge world full of strangers,
How ever strong, how ever luring is the call,
I will resist it, resist it for ever…..
It is hard, hard to form a new identity, a new me,
But I have to do it, live life again starting from zero,
Starting from the beginning, the very first, for all,
For my family, for my friends, for all who care for me,
I have to live…but this life, this new life is no longer mine,
No longer a part of me, it’s a protocol, a shadow of the past…..
I have stopped living…stopped being me…stopped it all,
The self in me is dead; the shadow of the past is all,
All that is alive, all that is living, is for others, for their comfort,
The trusting, smiling, joking girl is dead, never to return;
The world with its masks has suffocated it to death….
So that never ever again will she dare to smile genuinely, laugh heartily…..
Now I have nothing, nothing to fear, why should I?
I am already dead, and as for the shadow, who can hurt it?
It has built itself on ruins, so it is immune, not a fragile human,
A fragile human like me…
I have reached the other shore, it no longer hurts now; it no longer feels luring…
For the moment I reached, all feelings, all life oozed out,
Left for good for ever; now all that remains is,
The shadow, the deep dark shadow of the past…..
-Salvo
Deep chasms of the ocean…
The previous shore, the previous life is like a dream now,
A void, hazy with fading memory, with every passing moment…
But the shadow is something that is following me,
The deep dark shadows of the past that never leave…..
The new shore that I see, seems so inviting, beautiful,
But whenever I go near, whenever I try to reach out,
The shadows swarm up like waves crashing on a shore,
Like a storm raging…reminding me, reminding me every time,
Of the deep dark past, of how that was luring too,
How the past too was waiting for my return, how it was not past yet…..
I try to ignore and go on in my own way on my own,
Alone, away from all who can give me company,
Company and comfort, for it is not what I seek,
It’s what I am running from,
I want to be lonely, alone…
Alone in this huge world full of strangers,
How ever strong, how ever luring is the call,
I will resist it, resist it for ever…..
It is hard, hard to form a new identity, a new me,
But I have to do it, live life again starting from zero,
Starting from the beginning, the very first, for all,
For my family, for my friends, for all who care for me,
I have to live…but this life, this new life is no longer mine,
No longer a part of me, it’s a protocol, a shadow of the past…..
I have stopped living…stopped being me…stopped it all,
The self in me is dead; the shadow of the past is all,
All that is alive, all that is living, is for others, for their comfort,
The trusting, smiling, joking girl is dead, never to return;
The world with its masks has suffocated it to death….
So that never ever again will she dare to smile genuinely, laugh heartily…..
Now I have nothing, nothing to fear, why should I?
I am already dead, and as for the shadow, who can hurt it?
It has built itself on ruins, so it is immune, not a fragile human,
A fragile human like me…
I have reached the other shore, it no longer hurts now; it no longer feels luring…
For the moment I reached, all feelings, all life oozed out,
Left for good for ever; now all that remains is,
The shadow, the deep dark shadow of the past…..
-Salvo
No comments:
Post a Comment